mattachinereview:
skabritches:
snoopleijons:
one thing i hate is when parents refuse to let their kid(s) dye their hair
like
who’s fucking hair is it??????? is iT THE FAMILY HAIR?????????
Basically, yeah.
no one in my immediate circle understands why this creeps me out so much!!! it’s not that I abstractly dislike it; it’s that the idea of a parent controlling the appearance of their child’s body viscerally disgusts me
Something just went “click” for me. For a long time I’ve been struggling for words to explain why shame around body hair is such a huge part of my trans experience and why insults about it cut deeper than other things. I haven’t been able to explain it because of the “shouldn’t body hair be good for a person w/ X trans experience?” argument. I’ve explained it as shame from my youth and my family, that it was my first really serious experience with body shame and “you’re not right”ness around gender. But now that I think about it, I realize that it isn’t just shame.
I remember riding in the car back from the beach with a relative, and there was this really vivid moment I’ll never forget where she stared scrutinizingly at my neck and demanded that I really did need to go to “a nice little Korean parlor” with her and get that hair “taken care of.” She was staring at it and telling me how a boy would notice up close, how no one would want to kiss me, and there are just “things we do” to make ourselves sexy and presentable. I felt this tremendous amount of discomfort and it kind of shocks back at me every time I realize I’m stroking or pulling at those hairs unconsciously, like an adult male friend telling me to close my legs as a child when I was sprawling comfortably in my nightgown. Though neither of those adults had sexual intentions towards me, there was this kind of confluence of the experience of shame and of boundary-crossing there—why are you thinking about what I look like when a boy kisses me? Why are you noticing my legs splayed open when I just want to be comfortable in my house? I don’t know that this makes it any easier to explain why I don’t want my body hair commented on, but I do appreciate the help in getting to this nugget.
(Source: chiehiro-moved)